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The Security Briefs are the most disgustingly funny and safe way to save your precious possessions from being looted! A big white pair of Y-front man-pants is the least suspecting place to stash away valuable goods and the exclusive ‘skid mark technology’ adds extra peace of mind! (We reckon any genuine tea-leaves worth their weight in stolen goods would run a mile at the realistic brown soiled stain on these crisp white undergarments!)
Ironically, most people would shit themselves if they’d realise they’d had all their valuables stolen, but with the Security Briefs, it’s already been done for you! Ideal on nights out when you’ve no pockets or as a crazy alternative to a money bank at home! (Just don’t wear them when you’re out on the pull – the only things you will pull are looks of disgrace!)
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What if there was a way that you could transport all your precious belongings around with you without having to hug your money box close to your chest? The world is a deceiving place these days – trust no one! The Security Briefs ensure long-lasting reassurance that your goodies won’t ever get into the wrong hands!
Unless a burglar or mugger strips you down to your unmentionables, you can rest assured that your precious possessions will be kept safe like royalty! (NB: if a burglar or mugger does strip you down to your unmentionables we recommend high-pitched screaming and prompt sharp poking in the eye)
Even if the old jailbird does manage to savagely steal your big white Y-fronted Security Briefs, you can be sure he’ll rapidly return them when he finds the disgusting and sickening deep brown stain making a challenge for even a tub of Vanish!
The Security Briefs cleverly concealed pocket is big enough to hold all your diamond rings, 100-pound notes and Rolex watches! (If we had enough money for these extravagant items, we’d be carrying them in our pants too!) A word of warning though – don’t overfill your Security Briefs as you’ll look awfully suspicious should you ever leave the country and quite possibly scare members of the public with your voluminous bulge!
The Security Briefs unique feature is their fantastically real and life-like skid-marks! ‘To Skid’ is to slide dangerously with force whilst losing all control, including bodily functions. ‘To buy’ will be the cleverest thing you ever did do! Our most hilariously insane yet strangely sensible product yet, the Security Briefs allow you to brief yourself for sticky situations in the future!
Why You Should Buy From Us!
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